Who to share with: Identifying a good person to share with

There are several reasons why you might pick a specific person to disclose to. Below, we provide an overview of three types of relationships you might want to consider. There might be additional types of relationships and qualities that are important to you, and multiple types of relationships may apply to a particular person, e.g., a supportive and empathetic supervisor.

One way to gauge how someone might react to your disclosure is to bring up an autism-related topic and see how they respond. Below, we provide some examples of well-known autistic people and shows/films about autism that you might want to consider using as conversation starters.

Do note that these examples may not be an accurate representation of all autistic people or yourself as an autistic person, and other people may have a stereotypical view of autism as a result of what they have seen in the media. However, you can educate them and dispel those myths if you feel comfortable doing so (regardless of whether you choose to disclose). 

As you read through the following examples and possible responses, ask yourself:

• What examples of autistic representation might you prefer to use?

• Which of the responses might indicate a good person to share with? 

This worksheet gives you the space to identify any autism-related topics you would feel comfortable bringing up in a conversation. It then has suggested questions you might ask the person and yourself to evaluate their responses. Of course, you do not have to ask these exact questions and you can use language that feels more natural to you. The key thing is to find out the person’s likely views on autistic people to help you decide whether to proceed with disclosure:

🟢 Green light (kind, sensitive, respectful) - likely safe to proceed

🟡 Yellow light (awkward but not hostile, uninformed but open to learning) - proceed with caution, or wait and educate generally before disclosing personally

🔴 Red light (dismissive, judgmental, stereotypical) - you might not want to proceed unless you feel ready to handle a negative reaction