Who to Share with: Being prepared with responses

Even after carefully identifying and gauging how safe someone might be, things can go in ways that you did not expect or want. Below, we provide some examples of how people might react to your disclosure and ways to manage negative reactions.

Ways to manage during a challenging disclosure conversation:

• Take a deep breath (or try some breathing exercises) and allow yourself time to process and prepare your response. 

• Walk away. Delay your response until you are ready or do not respond at all.

• Be kind to yourself by using positive self-talk (remember what you learnt about reframing unhelpful self-beliefs). 

• Remember that the person may find it difficult to understand your experience if they have not had a similar experience.

• Allow yourself to make mistakes in deciding who you should share with. When you feel ready, review what went well, what didn’t, and use what you learned in future disclosure opportunities.

Preparing responses in advance can help you to feel more confident about disclosure. This final exercise will help you to plan how you might respond to people's reactions. The completed example includes suggested responses to common reactions that you can adapt using your own words.

Important: 

• Don't overwhelm yourself by imagining worst-case scenarios - think of positive ones too. 

• Remember that you don't always have to respond on the spot - you can delay or end conversations that feel unsafe or unproductive. 

• Consider discussing your disclosure plan with someone you trust, who can help you to think of responses or support you if things don't go well.