Who to Share with: Being prepared with responses

Even after carefully identifying and gauging how safe someone might be, things can go in ways that you did not expect or want. Below, we provide some examples of how people might react to your disclosure and ways to manage negative reactions.

Ways to manage during a challenging disclosure conversation:

• Take a deep breath and allow yourself time to process and formulate your response to any hurtful or unhelpful reaction.

• Be kind to yourself by using positive self-talk (remember what you learnt about reframing negative self-beliefs). 

• Walk away. Delay your response until you are ready or do not respond at all.

• Remember that the person may be having a difficult time understanding your experience if they have not had a similar experience.

• Allow yourself to make mistakes in deciding who you should share with. When you feel ready, review what went well, what didn’t, and use what you learned in future disclosure opportunities.

Preparing responses in advance can help you to feel more confident about handling different reactions. This final worksheet will help you to plan how you might respond to people's reactions. The completed worksheet example includes suggested responses to common reactions that you can adapt using your own words.

Important: 

• Don't overwhelm yourself by imagining worst-case scenarios - think of positive ones too. 

• Remember that you don't always have to respond on the spot - you can delay or end conversations that feel unsafe or unproductive. 

• You may also want to discuss your disclosure plan with someone you trust, so they can help you to think of effective responses or be ready to support you if disclosure doesn't go well.